


The Devil Made Me Do It

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-21
Updated: 2003-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:36:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1627037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Empy</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Devil Made Me Do It

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Empy

 

 

Title: The Devil made me do it...  
Fandom: Good Omens  
Rating: 18 (=R ish, probably, not up on American ratings) Notes:Um, smut was requested, and I have tried my best, unfortunately I'm not terribly good at smut... for which I shall appologise. 

"The Devil made me do it"  
"The devil made me..." 

No, no He didn't. Or at least, it's most likely that he didn't. The devil's agent on Earth is a demon name of Crowley, and he doesn't do that sort of thing. 

Maybe if you find yourself yelling at your phone because it doesn't work, or whinning about the traffic on the M25, then maybe He did. But He didn't make you kill your familly, rape that girl, invade Czecheslovakia or any of the othe bad things that you might have done at some point in your past. 

Simillarly it is highly unlikely that G-d told you to do it either, since His representative on Earth, one Aziraphale - a minor principality, is not much more motivated in such ways than his opposite number. 

Of course, now that they know about all the things that humans get up to in G-d's or Lucifer's name they like to take advantage sometimes, but that's not quite the same thing. 

Most of the worlds stupidities have been dreamt up by humans. Indeed, humans have often blamed both sides of the celstial war for the same incident. For instance, either the French revolution was a brilliant thing, to Free The People, a noble cause, one which was obviously divinely inspired. Or possibly it was a hideous massacher, a ludicrous waste of life for a ridiculous cause, the Devil made them do it. Neither is true of course, humans dreamt up the Revolution and humans carried it out, with no help from angelic personages of either persuasion. 

Both demon and angel were, however, rather fond of a certain novel concerning that period... 

Percy Blakeney, the one and only Scarlet Pimpernel, was one of Aziraphale's favourite fictional charachtes , someone who, he felt, was working for the cause of right as much as any human can. Of course, a little killing now and then was unavoidable, but when isn't it? Crowley had allways admired Chauvelin, perhaps because of his continual attempts to thwart the Pimpernel's efforts at every turn. 

The book itself is no real masterpiece, they both agreed infact that it was rather dull. However the numerous film and television adaptions of the work proved rather interesting - and the merits of the various different adaptions were something that the angel and demon argued about sometimes, when there was little better to do and work seemed rather dull... 

Christmass was (allthough it may be hard to believe) one of Crowley's favourite times of year, all those people out there shopping for presents, arguing over prices, moaning about the length of the que, and then ignoring totally the 'reall' spirit of Christmass. Aziraphale on the other hand rather hated the holiday, it was on the wrong date, noone ever celebrated Christ's birth properly, they all just want presents and food and more presents and more food... all 'mememe' never thinking about all the poor people out there who would get nothing. Of course there were a few people who did think about the 'True Spirit of Christmass' and Aziraphale was allways sure to offer them encouragement. 

But Christmass day itself usually just got on with it... noone needed any encouragement to be better than they were being in any case or worse than they were being in any case whichever way they were inclined to be and sometimes it was the most 'virtuous' of people who couldn't manage to it through Chistmass dinner without having an argument about who got what or who was going to have to wash up all the dishes... 

The angel and the demon had taken to spending Christmass together, after all, they had known each other for millenia, and it's not as if they really knew anyone else... becoming friends with humans was not really the best thing to do when you're immortal, they don't last that long. 

In any case, one year the BBC happened to be showing their adaption of The Scarlet Pimpernel over Christmass (/note/it's two series ammounting to something like 12 episodes in all I think, and is very good...). Aziraphale and Crowley had decided to watch said series at Crowley's appartment, which had, of course, the best TV available and an excellent sound system, unlike Aziraphale's outdated old thing. 

In the 'tradition' of Christmass everywhere the two ended up arguing about allmost everything to do with the series from the innacuracy of the costuming to the (huge) deviations from the original novel and whether these added to the interest or were useless diversions... 

After consumming most of the contents of Crowley's alcohol they had fallen into a discussion about Chauvalin... 'Zira... Zira.. it's all because he want Percy see... he's allways following him arround because he wants to be near him" "Don't be silly Crowley dear, he's just fighting for his cause, trying to make the Republic work... somewhat queshtionable ways of going about it though..."  
"Nah, ish 'cos he fancies him it ish"  
"Thatsh such a silly idea"  
"Well, I know that thatsh why I... um"  
"Why you what Crowley?"  
"Um, nothing. hic"  
"What Crowley?"  
"Why I followed you arround for ages"  
This last a whisper, barely more than a hiss. "Oh, you silly thing. Why did you never say?" "..."  
"Becaushe, oh, I can't do this drunk. Bcause I like you too you silly demon"  
"...!"  
At which point Aziraphale could think of little else to say and instead reached over and kissed Crowley, which resulted in a rather surprised demon falling off the sofa, and then deciding that drunkness was probably a very bad thing indeed, because it led to falling off sofas, and thus sobering up somewhat. Aziraphale picked him up off the floor and carried him into the bedroom, dumping the demon somewhat unceremoniously onto the bed, which whilst very ellegent and perfectly styled lacked something in the softness department which Crowley, having been droped onto it, hastilly corrected. 

Aziraphale dropped his jacket on the floor, magicked away his shoes and joined Crowley on the bed. The demon shifted to sit behind Aziraphale and started to unbutton his shirt, growing impatient with 'all these damn buttons' he magicked away the rest of the angel's clothes with a gesture and started to rub his shoulders "Wingssssssssss" he hissed into Aziraphale's ear, and the angel complied, unfurling his wings. Crowley proceeded to run his hands through the feathers, elliciting moans from the angel, and then to massage the bones by which the wings were attached to 'Zira's back - the the angel quite obviously enjoyed imensley. 

Aziraphale turned (with some difficulty, wings are rather bulky things) and kissed Crowley again, pulling off his glasses as he did so. Then, simillary frustrated by the complexity of human clothing magicked away the demon's clothing before pushing him back onto the bed, running his nails down Crowley's back as he did so. Crowley reached behind Aziraphale to tangle his hands back into the angels wings, incidentally pulling him closer kissing him hard as their lips met. 

Aziraphale reached under Crowley and began to rub at the points on his back where his wings would be joined, if he had them out, Crowley wriggled in response to that and, with just a brief flicker of thought in his eyes made the effort to appear fully human "Keep up angel" He whispered in Aziraphale's ear and the angel followed his example though he left his wings out, spread across the bed, Crowley's fingers still entwined in the feathers. 

The angel ran one of his hands over Crowley's shoulder and down his chest to his groin, catching both their erections and rubbing them gently together "You've done this before, angel" "And so what if I have..."  
"You're supposed to be innocent and pure and...oh!" "Mutual pleasure freely given is not a sin, Crowley, no matter what some humans might have said on His behalf..." "mmm, do that again!"  
"You don't happen to have any..."  
"No, but..."  
Crowley waved his hand absentmindedly and conjured a bottle of oil which Aziraphale took from him, rubbing the oil over their cocks with one hand and running the other through Crowley's hair. 

"Tell me you want this"  
"yessssssssssssssssssssss want thisss, want you..." "Hmmm, so pretty when arroused, your eyes are glowing dear... your hair all mussed up,mmm  
"Jusssssssst get on with it angel"  
"hmmm, impatient aren't we darling"  
"yesssss"  
As Crowley hissed his assent Aziraphale slid his oil slicked cock into Crowley's arse, moaning softly as he did so. "Oh yesssss oh G-, S-, somebody! Move, damn you" "Crowley, I, I... oh, I've wanted this for so long I..." "Please, oh harder, please!"  
Allways willing to please the angel slid in and out of Crowley, harder, faster, until they were both coming hard. 

Waking snuggled in Crowley's arms the following morning, all Aziraphale could think of to say was "The devil made me do it", Crowley sniggered and rolled over and fell asleep again. 

 


End file.
